Bye Bye, Night Terrors
Our daughter Kate is now a teenager, and it’s been years since we were awakened by her screaming, kicking and sobbing in the middle of the night. Years since we struggled - unsuccessfully - to wake her up from her personal demons, the night terrors that had plagued her since she was a baby. And years since we found the secret to avoiding night terrors altogether.
According to the Mayo Clinic, night terrors (or sleep terrors) are classified as parasomnia, a disorder that occurs during the deepest stage of non-rapid eye movement (NREM), similar to sleepwalking. They can manifest as screaming, shouting, kicking or thrashing. And, unlike nightmares, the individual cannot be jostled awake from this state, nor will they have any recollection of this experience in the morning.
Kate was oblivious to these nighttime events. She would wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and cheerful, with absolutely no memory of what had occurred just a few hours earlier. For Rob and myself, the night terrors were frightening and bewildering, leaving us feeling helpless, frustrated and exhausted.
When Kate was quite young - maybe two three years old - we went to see a sleep specialist at a nearby pediatric hospital. The physician and his resident intern listened as we described these occurrences. The intern took notes while the physician waited somewhat impatiently for us to finish. Without much hesitation, he then told us that the only solution was to let Kate scream it out. Simply let her go through these episodes from start to finish without interruption.
“Surely there must be another way,” we said. “These episodes happen nearly every night. Not only won’t we get any sleep, but there’s a good chance Kate will injure herself from all the thrashing.”
“That may be,” said the physician, “but that is still the best thing you can do. Anything else would be irresponsible.”
We left that doctor feeling angry and disappointed. We simply couldn’t let Kate go on like this for what could be years of her life.
As luck would have it, I soon went away for an overseas business trip. Rob would be home with our two daughters, and he’d need to deal with the night terrors on his own. Imagine my surprise when I returned two weeks later to learn that he had found a solution. And it was so simple, we couldn’t believe it.
Here’s the trick: Beginning one hour after Kate went to bed, and then at least another hour after that, we would gently tickle the area behind her ear until she flipped over. This action would disrupt her sleep pattern enough to bring her out of that deep NREM stage, but not enough to wake her up. By doing it again the following hour, she would stay in that higher stage of sleep, not plummeting into the place where night terrors happen. We all would get a full night’s sleep, and there would be no screaming, kicking or thrashing.
Thus began our new nighttime routine, which continued for years. Wait an hour, tickle. Wait another hour, tickle again. Peaceful bliss in the house.
Kate eventually grew out of night terrors when she was nine or ten. How did we know? Every so often, we’d ease up on the nighttime tickle routine to see what would happen. If we heard her cry out or kick the wall in the middle of the night, we knew we weren’t over the hump. But our persistence eventually paid off. And all of this is now a thing of the past.
How Rob figured all of this out, we’re not quite sure. But one thing I do know: Parents can be quite creative when the well-being of their child - and the loss of their own