So Long, Sugar

In the fall of 2017, I had a stuffy nose. It felt like any other stuffy nose I’d had on any number of occasions - except for one, particular way. No matter what I did, I couldn’t clear it. Not by blowing my nose, not with nose spray, not with Benadryl. And it lasted for two straight months.

Most people would have gone to the doctor by then. But I simply hadn’t gotten around to it. After a lifetime of hay fever, asthma and animal allergies, I figured this would eventually clear itself.

One day in early December, I made an appointment with Darlene, the medical intuitive who visited our office once a month as part of our company Wellness Program. I had already met with our other wellness practitioners:  Susan the astrologer, Cary the acupuncturist,, Adrienne the aesthetician, and Paula the fitness instructor. Oh, and the akashic record lady. Darlene was the only one I hadn’t met. And I was curious about what, exactly, a medical intuitive did. 

Unlike a traditional doctor’s appointment, Darlene sat at a small table across from me, with my hands flat on the table, palms down. No undressing. No stethoscope. No machines of any kind. Then, she asked me why I was there. 

I paused before replying, “Well, you’re the medical intuitive. Can’t you tell me?” As soon as those words left my mouth, I immediately regretted them. 

Ignoring my wisecrack, Darlene told me to write down everything she was about to say. She gently lay her fingers on top of my hands and stared off into space, as if trying to recall a story. “Sinus: 50. Blood: 35. Spleen: 60. Pancreas: 40. Adrenals: 75. Colon: 10. Thyroid: 10. Immune: 50.” 

Before the hour was out, I learned about the benefits of coconut oil for dehydration, lysine for canker sores, osha tincture for congestion, and blackstrap molasses to supplement a no-mammal diet.  But it was when Darlene suggested I take chromium percolate whenever I eat cane sugar that I paused.

“Why do I need this again?” I asked. 

“Because you have a sensitivity to cane sugar. In fact, you should avoid wine and chocolate, too. 

This was more than I could bear. I was known, after all, for my sweet tooth. Several squares of chocolate in the morning, chocolate chip cookies in the afternoon, a scoop of ice cream in the evening. How much chromium percolate would that add up to? And was that even safe?

On my way home from work that day, I stopped at the green market to purchase the supplement. And I took it just once - that evening after my post-dinner ice cream. And then, something clicked. Why take a supplement when there’s an easier solution?

The next day, I stopped consuming cane sugar altogether. No morning chocolate, no cookies, no ice cream. No store-bought salad dressing, no ketchup, no Chinese take-out. I just did it, cold turkey. And, believe it or not, my nose cleared within 24 hours. 

Two-and-a-half years later, I can honestly say I haven’t been congested since. And I rarely have headaches, either. My minimal research shows that sugar cane is a form of grass, and I do have a severe grass allergy. Connected? Maybe. Psychosomatic? Maybe. But, in the end, does it really matter? I have a clear head. I’ve lost ten pounds. And I’ve never felt better.

So long, sugar.